“Mum! Come look!” I hollered at the top of my voice. My mum rushed over” What is it Kaylene, what’s the rush?” She asked in annoyance. I pointed at our cat, Mango, who was slinking into the cupboard. She scratched her head as if thinking why Mango was acting so strangely. Ever since morning, Mango had not even touched her food. The next day, Mango was nowhere to be seen, we searched for her, but failed in finding her. Finally I got to the cupboard, and when I opened the cupboard I found her lying there with three little kittens. They looked so incredibly adorable!
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kaynao 
Kaylene, I wonder if this is based on a time when your cat had kittens?
You chose some really strong descriptive words that helped me to picture the events and my cat had kittens when I was a child, so I could easily make a connection. I like the way you are using complex sentences but remember to re-read to check where commas should go. I find reading aloud means you can hear when you pause, and that is where the comma should go. I enjoyed reading your 100WC response. Thank you.
Hi KK,
I like you story, I am very sure Grace and Janice will like it too. I like the words you used, i.e., hollered, annoyance, slinking. Very well done KK!! Please do continue to write more ok!, because, I enjoy reading all your stories and looking forward to read more.